My life, now.

So, big news. I'M PREGNANT. I never thought I'd say those words, and I never thought it could make me so happy. I've changed a lot and grown up a lot too, though I still have a lot of growing up to do before the baby. 

Me and Chad are still together and very happy. He's so excited about the baby, and really proud of me. He knows how hard some days still are. 

It's been a year since I last purged! I never thought this day would come. I still get really bad acid reflux that like tears my stomach apart and i think it's because of how much I used to purge. Maybe. I never had the problem until I did and it got bad. 

I have been eating normally! Like really normally, not binging, fasting, or skipping any meals. Ever since I've been pregnant. Even when I have those days where I cry in the mirror cause my body is getting so big and changing and even though I watch the numbers creep up and get closer to my HW. I'm like 173 now and I was in the 140s a while back. 165 when I got pregnant. I still make sure I eat good and take my vitamins cause I can't hurt the one thing in the world I love so much and hurt them and Chad by going back to who I used to be. 

I'm almost 5 months and I can't wait to not be pregnant anymore. I don't know what I'm gonna do after I have the baby. I don;t want to go back to my ED but I kind of do and I know that's a bad thought but I just see myself slipping once I'm done with pregnancy.

We'll see. 

I miss you all, sucks so many I used to follow don't post, but I noticed some of you still do which is great :)

<3 Toxic