Update

My life is getting overall better. :)
school- I set up my classes for next semester (taking 5 this time) and am glad to say I will be applying to main campus for the spring. I'm so excited! I will get to experience the real college life, and study Japanese again! Just one more semester here. Also my scholarships will still pay for everything, I just have to worry about housing which is no bigge, Might live off campus in a place with some friends who go there. I'm so excited for school!

work- Had my yearly review not long ago, my manager asked how i'd like to work as an assistant manager. Yes!!! I would be making so much more money, I hope they promote me! I'm getting lots more hours too, though I have been closing a lot....which means I'm stuck there till midnight..

love- So that younger guy....He's an ass. I told him I wanted to be more than what we were (still not sure what that was) and he said he didn't want a relationship. Well, now he's happily with some uglier and fatter than me nasty girl. (Yep. They're dating.) I'm not just saying that out of jealousy, I've asked and everyone agrees haha. But...I've been talking to this super sweet guy who is friends with my bro. He is 21, rides bmx, and is suuuuuuucch a sweet heart. He's been up late like me and last night we talked on FB from 1-5am haha. neither of us could sleep. We have a lot in common, and he's totally single. I got to see him the other day when I went to my bro's work to get something for my bike and he seemed happy to see me. I really like this boy... :)

friends- So I've been hanging with my best friend Amber a whole lot since school got out. She's really serious about losing weight and we have been going dune climbing near my house (I live like 3mi from a beach.) It's so fun, and i'm getting good at it. Also been talking to some old friends from H.S. who I haven't seen. It's been fun. Though I have been smoking more pot.....not to happy about cause when I do I get super hungry and eat like a fat cow, but my mood has been good, and I've been super busy.

weight- Hit a plateau again, but I'm starting to get over it :) 174 still, but working my ass off. I've been so motivated it's great :) Today my cal intake was a little over 850, if I eat anything else it will be a 90 cal cereal bar on break at work tonight. So my intake should be around 950. which I can deal with for now. As long as I stay under 1000 for the moment I'm happy. I rode my bike all over today and walked my dog. So I burned lots of cals. My legs still hurt from biking. :) ahh....it's nice though.

how has everyone been? I hope all is well.
<3 Toxic

I need to post some thinspo.....enjoy. :)

Bitches.

Ugh my sister is SUCH a bitch! I mean seriously...she won't ride the bus to school, so me and my 18 yr old brother have to pick her up EVERY day. Today he had to work, and I for once didn't so I went out with my friend and we went to the beach and climbed dunes and went shopping. It came time to pick my sister up and we went to get some food. We were waiting for our chicken to get done and my mom calls from her work screaming at me cause I am with friends and have a life and my car is at home. So I tell her I CAN NOT get my sister. (My brother never told me he was at work and he was supposed to tell me I had to get her which he didn't.) My mom asks me what she should do. Well I said to my mom "I don't know, she's not my kid.".....and she hung up. Whatever.

Now I'm at home, my mom and sister are here and my sis starts yelling at me. I say "Well fuck, I rode the bus everyday even while I was in senior year."and she starts complaining and screaming at me and my mom joins in too. Finally I just yell "Her fat lazy ass needs to start doing shit and ride the bus or walk."To this my sis of course replies "You can't even say that shit cause you're fat too!" FUCK HER!!! as if I don't know I'm fat?!?! umm I'm not lazy that's for sure. Lazy people don't run/walk/bike/climb 10 miles a day!! I do.

I can't wait until I weigh 125....then she can't call me fat. No one will. They will stare and comment on how skinny I am and ask "How did you do it?" ya....I wish I was thin. Really REALLY thin. Then I will be happy with myself. I'm going to finish cleaning my room...I moved all my furniture and it looks great. Then I will go run. I think I will do 3 miles of that. yep. gonna do everything I can to get thin. It's almost 7 now and i'm done eating for the rest of the night. yep, done.

I went to American Eagle and bought size 12 jeans!!! and they are kinda loose on me :) next up size 10! I'm gonna do this!!!!

Hope everyone is well and doing better than me. Family sure can suck.
<3 Toxic

Back again.

So I haven't posted in a while. Today my weight was 174, so I finally made it past 175 which makes me happy. Summer break has started and the weather is nice, but I feel sick. I'm hoping to feel better by Thursday cause I have work and don't want to call off again. I also want to ride my new bike. yep, I finally got the bike I wanted. I'll post a pic if you want to see it.

Anyways I really want to lose more and get under 169, cause I just found out that is what my younger sister weighs, and if I could be lighter than her it would be awesome :) (she used to make fun of me for being fat, but i'll show her.)

I think I'll talk mom into taking me to the mall this weekend. We have a mall in my town, but it sucks. I wanna go to the one that's like 40 mins away cause they have American Eagle. I really think I might be able to fit a size 12 in their jeans now, might even be getting closer to a 10! We will see.

Jeans and shorts thinspo.

This is SUCH an inspiring pic, her body is perfect.

 Love her shirt "I <3 toxic waste""

Anyways, I hope everyone is doing well, and wish you all luck with your goals.
<3 Toxic