Changes.

Another day at work. So far today I've had...
a packet of better oats dark chocolate oatmeal 160
a small bowl of my moms homemade chili ???
7 crackers 98 cals
and a mini chocolate bar 70 cals i think

So I've had over 328 cals and it's not even noon yet. omg what the hell is my problem?! Ok ok, control. No more food till dinner then I'll have an apple so Chad doesn't freak out on me. I wanna go take my dog to the park after work. I can run with him there :) It's a no leash dog park which I know he'll love. I wanna do some push-ups and free weights too cuz my arms suck, so much.

Last night was no fun. :( I didn't get home from work until 8pm. When we got home I was upset cause I was tired and the day was over. So I started making mac and cheese. Every little thing Chad said or did was making me even more angry so by the time I was done cooking and filled half a bowl with it and sat down I didn't want to talk or anything. Chad ate the rest of the pot. I ate about half of my half bowl.Well, he kept asking me whats wrong and "nothing" wasn't a good enough answer and he kept proding and so we got on the subject of food. "You know you have to eat, you need to to live." I say nothing "You need to eat you can't just not eat, when you're hungry your body wants  food." Then he says "You can't control when you're hungry." That was the last straw I glared at him set my food on the floor for the dog and went to bed. So ya, no fun.

Ew. I just looked across the hall at the other dr.'s office and see a girl I went to school with since 4th grade. I hated that bitch she was always so mean to me. Still thin and perfect as ever... sigh. lucky. This drug rep. just brought a super good looking strusel to work. I want some but I can't have it. I won't.

I need to weigh myself... I'm just scared I've gained. :( bet I have. Wll...I'll do good today and weigh tomorrow morning after Chad goes to work. Should be easy to get out of dinner tonight, going to my moms house to watch tv. Sons of Anarchy is on and I don't have cable yet.

<3 love you all. I'll post again soon.
Toxic