In it for the long haul.

Today has been amazing. intake wise. I had a spoonful of seafood salad and a piece of pizza this morning. that's it. maybe...250 cals, idk. I haven't eaten in hours. Won't eat for the rest of the day, which is a long while since I work at 8 until 4am, but I am confident I can do this.

Thank you Jess for keeping me on track today! :)

I biked 8 miles too! still, wish I would've done 10. If I can't sleep when I get home I will bike another 5 or so at 4am. haha that is so early! :D I just didn't want to be too tired for work. also been up since 8am this morning.

I finally got my finical aid stuff all turned in. So now I just have to wait for them to review it so I know how much money I will receive this year. (Hope it's a lot!)  I don't want loans. :(

I haven't weighed myself since Yesterday. I won't weigh myself til this Tuesday, cause I'm afraid if I don't see lots of progress I will get depressed and it will lead to a binge, and we don't want that. no, no not at all! The suspense is killing me however, I keep the scale in my room (I have hard floors) and I keep looking at it.

Yesterday was horrible. I binged like a fat cow. I was so full it was making me sick of myself. So, what did I do? The one thing I promised I'd never do. I puked til I couldn't no more. It was gross and pink cause the seafood salad yesterday and mac and cheese and chicken. Ya, like I said, binged like a cow. I turned on the sink faucet, but mom and friend still heard. My mom asked me all serious "Are you a bulimic or anorexic?" "No!" then my friend said all jokingly "You wouldn't deny it if you didn't have a problem" (Laughed it off) "I'm just sick, the food got to me. I haven't felt good all day, and was sick yesterday too." (lies) "Do you know where the thermometer is? I hope you're not running a fever." My mom being worried. "Nope." Then I sat on the couch watching tv with them and they forgot about it :)
Later I fell asleep on the couch (around 4pm.) She came home and saw me there and told me to go to bed. So I did haha, working these weird hours is fucking up my sleep. She think it was cause I'm sick too. So no more worries. I just need to watch with the constantly calling myself fat in front of her.

I also decided to quit smoking pot. All it does is waste my money and make me get munchies and binge :( so I'm done, at least for a while.

I made a big binder today with all my goals. it's all organised with little things under each goal on how to achieve them, like mini goals :) I will be able to go to Japan this summer if I follow my goal list and save my money. I'm so excited. I miss Japan and all my friends there. My Japanese has gotten a little rusty though. Should be better after a semester in the Spring at my new college. Yep, I'm gonna work on transferring. Which means I must pass all 5 of my classes with excellent grades. Nothing below a B. These goals are also in there.

That's all for now. Just some quick comment replies and thinspo
<3 Toxic

Comments-
@lulu-Yeah, isn't being a redhead great?!?! I love my new red hair!
@Jess-Thanks, I think these past few posts have had the best thinspo on my whole blog. :)
@lottie-No, I really am still in the 170s :( it's sad, but i'm changing it asap. I was doing so good, then binges... I hate this binging problem.

Thinspo!!!!! Some good 'ol thigh gap thinspo! :)