School post, update, ect.

So today I weighted myself, 150.2. poop. well, better than I thought :) I was 152 a few days ago. Still I'm so far off from where I should be...oh well, I will make progress. I'm proud of myself cause I haven't purged since right around Christmas :) my mom caught me (sort of) she heard me and swears I make myself throw up now, but she hasn't said anything since.

I want to lose weight in a healthy way. Chad is helping me cope so much, and as a result I haven't even binged much. I try to eat "normally" or a little less than, but sometimes it is so tempting to go back to how I was. I hate hate hate binge/purging though, I haven't eaten all day. I enjoy fasting. Though I honestly try to make myself eat when I am truly hungry, cause I don't want to binge. Restricting leads to binging for me... :(

But I spend a lot more time with Chad cause guess what?!?!? WE'RE ENGAGED!!! I'm so happy. :) He proposed to me on the 5th of December, at the beach where he asked me out. It was freezing! I cried and everything. It was so sweet and romantic and all that.

Since he's almost always with me, it means I'm always with him when he wants to eat. He doesn't make me eat, but when we go out and I'm like "well I'm kinda hungry I think..." or my stomach growls and he asks if I've eaten yet and I haven't or say something like "I've had enough today"  He will tell me "babe, if you're hungry, you need to eat." or "It's ok to eat." or "We can get though this, you're too used to how you were thinking, change is good and when your stomach is growling and hurts it's your body telling you you need to eat babe." As much as I hate giving in and eating, it is helping. He is helping me not to binge. :) I love him. He is even working out and exercising with me so I can burn it off in a good way rather than feel I need to purge it all.

Right now, I'm sitting at school super depressed cause I'm stuck here til 7:20, my car is broke so Chad dropped me off and my mom is picking me up.....gtg class, will write more.




....I wrote that on Monday. It's Wednesday, so I will post tonight when I get home. Things are getting better and better. Ate good today. Very healthy and not to much. :) Didn't get to ride my new bike yet though :(
<3 you all, going to my next class
Toxic

p.s.
I want to comment on your comments :)
@lulu- Thank you, I've missed you too. You are so nice and I'm happy to have someone like you following my blog. :)
@Scarlett- Thank you for the support! I promise to start posting a lot more. You all keep me so focused. :)
@FightToBeThin- Thanksgiving actually went great, and I stayed at the skatepark all day. Everyone was so nice. Ya, I haven't been checking my e-mail, but I will do that more too.

p.p.s
Sorry if there are any typos, gtg to class and don't have time to look this over.