I really need to post more often

Sorry for not having posted in the last...3 weeks. It's been hectic with school and all. I'm supposed to be in my English class...but I really think I'm gonna drop that one. Anyways, I'm doing good in my other classes :) though I need to do my Statistics homework before 4 p.m.

I weighed myself, was shocked as hell too. Chad stayed the night and after I woke up I got dressed and went to pee, well he got up while I was taking off all my clothes to hop on the scale, he was looking at me so I told him to look away, and he said he couldn't read the scale from my bed, but I told him again not to look and he said he wasn't, so then I said look away, and he finally threw the blanket over his head so I could stand on it. 151.6...much better than I expected. After 2 days of binging, then eating "normally" I hadn't really gained too much. I was honestly expecting to see something in the mid-upper 150s like 155 or higher. So I gave a sigh of relief "Thank god!" "It good babe?" he threw the cover off his head and I told him "No, but I hasn't really changed, I was expecting much worse."

After this we went to take my dog to the vet. He didn't want to go, and we had to carry him in, but once he saw all the other dogs he got very excited and happy. He is a golden doodle named Coby. There was even another golden doodle in the waiting room and he kept trying to go and play with it. I miss him cause he has to stay overnight at the vet. :( But I get to pick him up tomorrow at noon :)
here's a pic of him

Well, I ate some pancakes (3) with strawberry syrup and had coffee when I got home. Chad had some too, and then toke him home and drove my moms car to school. Now I'm sitting here and having not eaten since 8 this morning, I'm starting to feel empty and hungry, which I love right now. I want to start restricting more and more. I need to lost these last 36.6 pounds. ugh, it's so damn much! I have to do this! I know I can, I've done it before. I just really wish I could be like I was again, when I would eat very little and lose all the time. When I didn't binge or purge, and rode my bike and ran all the time. So from here on, I'm going to work on doing all that again. I did run yesterday, and toke my other dog for a long walk. :) today I'm going to run after school, and work out after Chad is done at work. 

I need to stop 'allowing' myself food, telling myself 'just this once' or 'this is the last time' and 'tomorrow I will make up for this' THAT'S NOT HELPING!!! 

I will add a little thinspo to this and comment on your comments.

Comments- 

@lulu- Ya, that is true, plus when I work it off, I am also toning my body so when I am thin it will look even better. :)

@Scarlett- Me too, it just sucks working it off sometimes, it can be such hard work. Though it feels great afterwards.

@thinspirationljourney- Thank you and thanks for following. :) I will try to just eat healthier, I haven't had pop reg or diet in 2 weeks! So awesome! :)

@lottie- Thank you! :) I am feeling empty now, its so nice. 

Well, I need to go to class, It starts in 10 minutes.

<3 Toxic