Thoughts...

I want to be thin, so I'm not eating. Not today. Maybe I will have something like salad without dressing or carrots with mustard (it's actually really good) tomorrow. But nothing til then. Just diet soda and tea to get me through the day. I hate being fat.

Thanksgiving is next week. I'm absolutely terrified. Is anyone else? I'm going to meet Chad's extended family at their big Thanksgiving dinner...I just know they are going to think I'm fat and he could do so much better...

I hate that the scale read 154 just now...I hate that I probably won't reach 145 by the 22nd. If I could just get in the 140's (like 149 or lower...) by then, I'd feel so much better. I seriously feel so fat. That's all I can think about. I don't remember feeling this huge at 190. So wtf?! I'm thinner than I was in February, yet I feel twice as big... fuck my body. It's gross, huge, fat, and disgusting. I wanna be thin and tiny and small and cute and pretty and beautiful...someday I pray to god. Please... stupid fat gross body...get smaller. Now...

Some Thinspo...

Comments:

@Em- She really is so confident in herself...I wish I could be too. Like I said she even has her bellybutton pierced. It's crazy, cause I would never do that at her size. I envy her confidence.

@Thin Thoughts- Now that's some progress! Congrats! You are doing so great!!!! Though you plan sounds quite hard, it also sounds worth it. I need to do something stricter like you are doing. I will definitely check out your blog more. You really do have so much control! :)

@kes- Thank you! I'm amazed she cheered right back up after that happened. I agree, I would've wanted to leave right then.

@JaneApril- I hope I can keep up with the loss, I HAVE to. Yeah, Abercrombie's sizing is tiny. Still...I wanna go in there one day and ask someone working "do you have this in a size small?" or "I need these jeans in a 0, the 2 is lose." ahh....that will be the day. :)

@FightToBeThin-add dilute? sorry, I don't know what you mean by that...but wow, your liquid fast sounds genius. You get the energy you need to still work out and everything. That's great! :) Omfg! I LOVE peppermint tea! I didn't buy the dress (yet.) They only had a size 8, 10, and 14 in stock. I tired the 8 on and it fit. A 6 I think would still be too tight, but I will work my ass off and buy it in a 6! 

Thanks everyone for the support. I officially have 50 followers now! I can't believe it. Well, after typing that I'm in a much better mood. I think I'll make some peppermint tea and do some homework now. Going to hopefully go for a run later too. If I stay busy (which won't be hard) I can stay away from food all day!
<3 Toxic