Probably set myself back..... :(

So last night my sister had a Halloween party. All her soccer friends that are seniors came and I helped prepare for the party. I bought them glow sticks and made really yummy cupcakes. I ate So. Fucking. Much. I purged in the bathroom while all her friends, my friend Amber, and my mom and one of the soccer moms were here. No one heard :) and I wasn't too red in the face and eyes. Then I toke an anti-acid, drank water and diet Pepsi the rest of the night. I hung around with the girls for a while after then went to my room to relax cause I had a horrible headache.

I watched some episodes of the UK show on channel4 Supersize vs. Superskinny. I love this series. :)
Well I had to pee soo bad and left my room. Then stayed out and talked with everyone some more. Then for some ungodly reason, my fat stupid greedy ass thinks its ok to have some chips. Then a cupcake, then more chips, then 1 resses cup, then another cupcake, then more chips, and finally a 3rd cupcake. Fucking hate myself. So much. Seriously it's all I can think about right now.

All I've had so far today is water. Waiting for my Ipod to charge some more, then 2mi run.I have to burn so many cals before Tuesday if i'm going to be under 155. I hate myself. Why do I binge? Why is it so hard to stop eating once I  start a binge? I need to stop bingeing.

"A problem? Yes, eating is definitely a problem. Got to stop eating." -Wasted, Marya Hornbacher

I will bike later today too. Also need to finish cleaning my room...It's messy. I hate messy.


Oh and comments. I feel so shitty for not saying anything on a comment left by Scarlett. So I will do that now :) (seriously though I'm a horrible blogger. It's a wonder any of you follow me. )

@Scarlett- Thank you so much. Your encouragement is really nice. :) I still can't believe I used to be a size 14...never again. Ever.

Well, time to run :) Everyone do well today ok? And if you do mess up, don't beat yourself up over it, learn from your mistakes and start again. Never give up. I know, You know, just how bad we want this. Get thin, stay thin.
<3 Toxic