So I really do hate myself, for hating myself. I want to love myself, or even like myself...but its hard. I never really did like myself even as a kid. I always felt like I was different from everyone else. but I don't know, I just felt like getting that out, I've been very pessimistic lately. Ignore it.
So recently, I've been going over to my friends house a lot. He is 21 and lives around the corner. He's a cool guy, but I'd never date him, he's engaged and there is nothing between us. However, he has a brother who is 2 years younger than me. Whenever I'm over there all three of us hang out together. I've been talking to his little bro online a lot lately, and the other day just me and him hung out. The problem is...I think I'm really starting to like him. He's also way shorter than me. So ya...but he's a really cool guy. It's just i'm in college, and he's finishing high school... I don't feel like I could date him. But he might like me too...I need advice. :(
Oh the other day was my brothers birthday party. He turned 13. Family came over and my grandma commented on how much thinner I look esp. my legs. I just said something like "Really? I don't think so, maybe I'm losing weight, I don't know."and left it at that. Inside I felt happy at these words. My grandma never says I'm thin, if anything she makes small comments on how I need to lose weight. So this is nice that others are noticing. Cause I still can't tell. But, I binged yesterday and I'm still so upset about it. I must work really hard today.
Tomorrow I weigh myself again. I'll post results and some thinspo.
Get thin, stay thin. Get happy, stay happy.
~Toxic
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