I'm just.....not happy.

So today has been a horrible day since I rolled out of bed at 8:30. I weighted myself and am so upset/furious/sad/pissed/unhappy/want to stab my self in the stomach til there is no more fat. Ya, it's been a bad day. So after seeing my weight, i worked out hardcore. Then had a small bowl of strawberry corn flakes, went to work. Where I was so upset and thought about my weight all day. When I got home at 7 I made dinner, spaghetti. It was good, but I ate much more than I should cause I was so depressed and just didn't give a fuck. The moment I saw my empty plate however, I wanted to scream. It was like a nightmare. but real. Then I sat around and watched TV. After that I went in my room and worked out again. Plus i've had a splitting headache since I got to work. So ya, sad depressing day.
Now i'm on facebook and he's on. So I start a convo, and he just gives short shitty answers to my questions. I feel like he hates me. It would make sense...I'm not worth his time. I just wish I could fall asleep and this weight be gone and then he could love me...but life isn't that simple.

Went shopping yesterday, it made me want to cry. I walked into pacsun to get some sunglasses and soon as I walk in i see these cute shorts and tanks. I can't wear them though...I would look stupid cause I'm so fat. I need to lose weight so that rather than stare longingly at the new, cute, tiny swimsuits I could...you know buy one and not be afraid to wear it.

I need something to cheer me up.
THINSPO!!!

These last ones are all the Egg fashion magazine model Nemoyayo. Shes so cute.

Ok so thats all the thinspo I have left saved to my comp. I need to add more. I will. 

Sorry for not posting my weight. I will post it next Tuesday instead. When I have gotten rid of the weight I just added to my waist :( I feel so fat. I seriously hate myself right now... I just can't share my new weight. I HATE HATE HATE this...It has set me back. But my goals will be reached!

Thanks for following 

<3Toxic